Okay, it was actually 1991, but thanks to apartheid, South Africa was about eh-hem at *least* 5 years behind in fashions…((cough)).

Or at least that’s my excuse, and yes, I’m sticking to it.

I give you Exhibit A.

At the South African version of a ‘Junior Prom’ aka ‘The Std 8 Dance’.

(These days Std 8 is known as Grade 10 – because in a very confusing education system the first two years of school were known as Sub A and Sub B then eventually in your third year of schooling was known as Std 1 which was actually third grade…confused yet? Go back to the start of this paragraph and try again if you’re not.)

Though clearly, as with everything else right now I am procrastinating.

So, I give you Exhibit ‘A’.

Firstly, actually this wasn’t our official Std 8 dance. Our school wouldn’t allow us to have one (but most of our peer schools were having official ones) so two of my friends and I decided to be utterly rebellious and host a “Sweet Sixteen” party for my one friend, and invite everyone in the standard (grade).

Yeah. Really rebellious.

I mean the rest of the country has just clamoured for Nelson Mandela’s release from prison, and at my school, we rallied against the complete injustice and oppression of A STD 8 DANCE.

Amandla!

Moving on swiftly.

1.  What the HELL is that hanging from my ears!!!???? I mean the earrings are actually TOUCHING my shoulders. THEY HAD TASSLES!! As I recall they had these sort of rainbow type orbs in the middle as well, which I must have thought were the HEIGHT of cool, and chic.

Maybe I was just trying to take the focus off:

2. My HAIR! Clearly, MORE was LESS in those days, and I appear to be going for maximum lift of my fringe. FYI, my hair was stick straight in those days, but apparently I felt the need to sit with my hair in hot rollers for several hours before the dance. Must have been a Daryl Hannah thing.

3.  Yes, I’m wearing Blue eyeliner, and blue eye shadow…the 80′s (90′s) were a happenin’ time man. Nuff said.

4.  Did I work on this smile in the mirror? Because clearly, I felt the need to have a smile that showed every single last tooth that I possessed.

5.  Royal Blue Crushed Velvet!? Crushed Velvet!!? I-have-no-words.

6.  White Pearlescent Nail varnish. Because it matched my, matched my, um…oh yes, the WHITES OF MY EYEBALLS.

7.  Black stockings with a blue dress. Ok. Not so bad. At least it wasn’t ‘beach bronze’ stockings, with white shoes. Although at least white shoes would have matched my nail varnish.

Okay. It’s only a matter of time until somebody from high school recognises me from this picture. But I’m not afraid…

Want to know why?

He hem. Well, you see, my brother was the photographer for the evening, and yes I still have the negatives of that night, and photos of absolutely everyone who attended. So any dissing from fellow attendees will get their photographs, names and contact details posted here, and maybe even facebook. BUWAHAHAHA.

So who else out there has the BALLS to post something of themselves from the 80′s? (90′s) I have more coming this week for you to slap your thighs at and giggle. Maybe even one or two photos of me wearing riding breeches, but it’s okay, because back when I still had one ass, and not two, I actually looked pretty good.

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