This close…

On December 12, 2009, in Headcase, by ness

I am -    – this close to losing it.

To run screaming from the house.

Honestly.

My sanity is still present enough to realise though, that should I give in, to that primal scream that is bobbing it’s head at the surface of my mind that I may never actually stop, or come back.

So I stay home.

Tend.

Mother.

Feed.

Clean.

Wash.

Cook.

Tend.

Mother.

Feed.

Clean.

Wash.

Cook.

Sleep.

Wake-up.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What about MY dreams damnit!?

What about MY goals!?

.

.

.

.

No one listens.

Or cares.

.

.

.

.

At least, that is how it feels right now.

Ever the eternal optimist, I know that tomorrow will be better.

Of course, the problem with tomorrow, is that it’s always that.

.

.

.

.

Tomorrow.

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7 Responses to This close…

  1. Melody Melody says:

    Hang in there Ness. I know its really tough. We all know/feel your anguish/irritation and primal desire to flee.

    xxx

  2. Vicki Vicki says:

    I’m listening. Like Mel says hang in there – it will get better.

  3. Jayne Jayne says:

    The crappy days are there to remind us fabulous women not to get big heads from our sheer wonderfulness ;)
    Hang in there, it’s a law (somewhere) that we’re allowed off our chain to run amok and create mayhem every other day ;)
    .-= Jayne´s last blog ..Archbishop Mannix and the many, many Queens…..! =-.

  4.  ness says:

    Thanks Jayne, you’re turning into the voice of reason over here. I’m okay now. One small meltdown yesterday, and I’ve bounced back this morning!

  5.  ness says:

    I’m okay now. Had my little meltdown on the blog yesterday, back to being the eternal optimist today :)

  6.  ness says:

    I’m okay now. You know, I’m really the most attentive blerrie Florence Nightingale, but yesterday I was just ‘up to here’ not with the mans requests etc, but just with *everything*. Anyway, like I said on fb, LOW POINT! LOW POINT!

  7. Trish Trish says:

    Just saw this. I SO know what you’re talking about. My darling husband is a pretty lousy patient, too. My resentment at his suffering knows no bounds. He doesn’t get much sympathy. I’m a bit mean, really.

    Glad you’re back on top now, though. And yes, love that movie and that scene :-)

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