Walking Zombie.

That is me today.

Moving my eyeballs requires far too much effort.

I think that I may need to have my thyroid levels checked because this is just not normal. I’m pretty sure it’s nothing serious like mesothelioma or anything, I’m sure it’s just trying to get by on 5 hrs of sleep, having two little noisy boys around the eldest of which DOES NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAY DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M WORKING, and the general stresses of living.

The lack of energy saps my will power like nothing else, and it makes the energy required to maintain a level of patience with my kids that I’m struggling to find. Did that make sense to anyone? See how knackered I am? I could *really* use a solo weekend away just to clear my head, sleep, or alternate walks in the country with some horseriding, and engaging in utterly slothful pursuits involving copious amounts of roomservice, spa treatments and television.

My dad is back in hospital, this time on a chemo drip, and I’m trying to work up the ooomph to go and see him. It’s not that I don’t realise how important seeing him is, its just complicated. Seeing him saps my will to live, so in my current state going to see him would be like putting a match to a highly flammable substance and I will just evaporate on the spot. Luckily I saw him about 10 days ago, so I’m not entirely drowning in guilt.

Right, off to fetch the youngest then back to the grindstone and worst of all *housework* ick.

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