Boy oh boy, do I get annoyed when people are unnecessarily snooty.

I mean, come on, let’s keep it real okay?

So here’s the deal.

About 8 years ago (hubby and I had been together 2 years already), hubby introduced me to a golfing buddy of his.

Nice guy. Awesome guy. Really down to earth, easy to get along with, good dinner conversation kind of guy.

Then I met his girlfriend.

She seemed nice enough, we shared a love of horses, and it turns out I knew her sister, who worked on the same Summer camp as me in the US few years prior.

Then fast forward a few years. Golfing buddy and GF move overseas for a few years.

We saw them on and off over the following few years, each time that they were out here we got together for dinner out etc etc. All Fine. Turns out GF and I now had another friend in common, as she was good friends with an old highschool friend of mine.

Then about 18 months ago, they were back from overseas for good (it was a temporary move, common amongst young Saffer professionals before coming home to marry/and have kids etc), and married, and she was pregnant with their twin boys.

Anyhoo, so we finally, had a chance to catch up with them today, and meet their gorgeous boys, who have just turned one.

You know how motherhood changes you? Mostly for the better?

Heh. Yeah. Not the GF.

OMG, talk about the most judgemental nit-picky person!

I swear I saw her face drop as they drove up our driveway. Clearly we don’t meet her very exclusive standards. Which is really funny, given that I wouldn’t actually tell people the name of the high school she attended if I were her. Although now she has ‘the car’ and ‘the house’ in ‘the suburb’ with ‘the sea views’.

Plus, while we don’t live in Shangri-la, and living in a rental does suck ass, it’s neat. It’s clean. We make it work. We bought some extra toddler chairs so that her little ones would feel welcome and have somewhere to sit, play etc, and also for other guests with small kids, and friends of my two to use when they visit.We *really* made an effort, we were chatty parents who understood. Who sympathised.

Anyway. So we’ve also not really updated our furniture for a few years, for several reasons, 1) we’re still planning on leaving the country at some point and will sell everything then and 2) because our kids are small, and until we are going to be completely potty trained, and relatively mess free, I don’t see the point in splurging on some expensive piece of furniture, knowing that it’s only going to get ruined. I’m not in a hurry, I can have a fancy show piece of a house later.

I just felt like she was constantly looking down her nose at everything. What my kids ate, what they did (god forbid one of them coughed more than once). When her kids clothes got wet from dipping their toes in the pool, and she didn’t have a change of clothes for them, and I offered her some of my youngest ones things that he’d outgrown, and said, “Honestly it’s fine, you can have them.” She looked so appalled at the thought of putting second hand clothing on her children that I was quite taken aback, and she looked as though I had insulted her as a mother, for not having had a change of clothes. Hello! No Judgement here honey!

I tried really hard to NOT be judgmental of her either. I kept telling myself, she has twins, for gods sake! Give her a break, she must be exhausted! Her hubby, poor sweet guy, couldn’t do ANYTHING right in her eyes, without her a) criticizing him (no monkey peanuts for *him*) b) her rolling her eyeballs in my direction (as if I must sympathise with her and her terrible plight) and c) her sighing and stomping off.

I reckoned she must just be tired, and they’re probably under some strain as a couple. It turns out he is pressuring her to return to work (her kids are only 1), and she wants to work half day from when they are 2. So yeah, there are always two sides to a story. She said that she wanted to stay home with her kids as long as possible, because they still needed her so much. Fair enough.

Then, in chatting with the husband later while she was in another room, he was telling that his wife insisted on getting a night nurse when her kids were 5 weeks old, because she ‘couldn’t do the sleep deprivation thing anymore‘.  Then he also let slip that they have a full time maid and nanny!!! (not live in, but 8-5pm everyday).

So I wondered…what exactly is it that she is going to miss when she does eventually go back to work (half day or not) the ‘being with the kids’ thing? Or the total unequivocal freedom that she currently has, as a ‘lady who lunches’. Sans kids. Or pops to the hair salon. Or the spa. Or anywhere at the drop of a hat. Because she can.

She’s great with kids. She gamefully included my two while she was playing with her two in the childrens play area (and no I didn’t need any help in the kitchen thanks), and she sweetly put my youngest on her lap and ‘read’ him a book. So she’s good with kids. She loves kids. She’s done the high flying career thing, and wants to give it a rest. I-get-That.

What I don’t get is what is with all the snootiness??

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