I’m tempted to just post a one word entry today that says,

“Hormones”

and let that be it. Listening to Alanis Morisette also doesn’t help matters much.

…

This weekend was quite fun actually, I met up with an old friend on the other side of the mountain (as I call I) in the area where we used to live, and made arrangements to meet with Simply MelB for a quick catch up and chat at the same time. I’d had my hair done, (still need to get a ghd – they are totally awesome!) so it was at least nice to get out and show it off a bit. It’s been awhile since I’ve been confident enough to feel even vaguely good about myself, so it was nice

Then Saturday morning, guess what? I went and had my hair done again My hairdresser is so cool. She is charging me rock bottom prices, if I come once a week – so I’ve made a plan to go every Friday morning now to get my hair done (wash/massage/blowdry/ghd curls), and there I was already on Saturday again. Reason being, we were going out on Saturday night (just hubby and I) and I wanted to look nice since we were doing a trivia evening with some of hubby’s work colleagues. I had a new shirt and trousers on, so I actually felt great on Saturday. The fact that we (the girls team) beat the mens team hands down really helped too!

Ugh, but on Sunday, I was so tired and hormonal, that I suddenly had this huge emotional slump come over me. We had to take Flip to the doctor because he started coughing on Thursday, and by Saturday night it was incessant, so off we went.  He’s okay, just has a throat infection, the irritation in his throat was making him cough. Hubby has done his back in again, so all four of us trekked off to see the doctor, hubby to get a pain shot and of course Flip for his throat. While we were there, the kids were just SO badly behaved  – acting all hyper and not listening to me at ALL – practically bouncing off the walls of the doctors office and part of me just went…literally WENT, Just Disappeared, and I just sat down in the doctors office and shut my mouth and let them go wild.

Enough.

I had had enough.

By the time we left the doctors office and the ensuing mayhem of the pharmacy behind, hubby had noticed that something was up with me and was probing to try and find out what it was, prompting me to ask him to just leave me alone and let me have some quiet in my head.

I just felt like if I kept my mouth shut, I could keep myself from screaming (and being unable to stop) and prevent myself from having a major emotional breakdown. Yes I was feeling *that* bad.

Then on top of that, I was feeling guilty for feeling so bad. Like I wasn’t a good enough parent that I didn’t have endless supplies of rainbow tinted patience and farting glitter. That I could be feeling anything other than gratitude for our good health (generally speaking) and good fortune in general.

Going home, I had silent (non-sobbing) tears streaming down my cheeks just from various music that was playing on the radio during the car trip home.

I was a MESS.

Again, I’m totally blaming hormones, because this is not the ‘usual’ me. I was tired, cranky and ready to break shit.

Thank god that last night was relatively uninterrupted and this morning a very warm, snuggly and already getting better Flip came and climbed into bed with me around 5am, and I was very happy to see him, and thankful for the snuggles.

I also put it down to the fact that I was rather blase about what I ate on Saturday, first at the birthday party that I took Skip to, and then later at our evening out – and after a week of being good with food, and snacking on things like baby corn and mangetout – which has been awesome, and I suppose, I have become accustomed to feeling good. So naturally after filling my body with junk – it’s natural that I would feel like junk anyway. It was totally messing with my creative mojo as well!!

Today it’s back on the wagon for me.

On a humorous note, google ads on various sites have been taunting me with ads for ghd stylers! They’re following me around the interwebs! For those of you who didn’t know (like me until I asked) ‘ghd’ stands for ‘good hair day’ and they totally rock. This is one of those things that I’m going to go on and on about until I get one. The same way I did with a mac.

Anyhoo, back to work now!

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